The Real Housewives of Richardson, Texas

So, I’m pretty sure Bravo TV is not jumping on the Richardson housewives reality show pitch but, if they had have, here’s what you would have missed in episode 1.

Title: Domestication of a Newlywed

I’ve always considered myself ahead of the curve among my peers on being what we traditionally call “domestic .” I briefly worked as a maid for my parents and know my way around house cleaning, I taught many a freshman girl how to do laundry in the Collins dormitory, I started ironing in the 5th grade, and given the proper gadgets and access to my “phone a friend” lifeline (shout out Mama Becton), I can follow almost any recipe successfully. In light of all these facts, it came as quite a shock to me that I managed to look completely clueless about running a household during my first few weeks of marriage.

Disaster number 1: The kitchen is full of suds

William’s soccer team went together and bought us a very nice Calphalon cookware set. I was really excited about this since I hadn’t had new cookware since my first college apartment so I began the process of unwrapping all the pieces so I could begin making 5-star quality meals with my new pots and pans. I decided to read the care instructions since they were so new and shiny to see how I could make my cookware last for the long-haul. The manual said you should always hand wash the pots and pans because dishwashing detergent would ruin the non-stick coating. So, I’m sitting here looking at all 14 pieces of cookware and the task of handwashing every piece seems a little ridiculous, plus, I remember that mom had similar stuff and always ran in the dishwasher. Suddenly, I get a great idea. If it’s the dishwashing soap that ruins the pans, I’ll just run them in the dishwasher with hand wash soap instead! Brilliant! Or so I thought. About 20 minutes after I start the cycle, I hear William yelling my name. I come to the kitchen to find white suds flowing from the bottom of the dishwasher onto the kitchen floor. William had stopped the cycle and the entire dishwasher was full of soap. We cleaned up the floor, emptied what was left in the soap dispenser, and re-started the cycle to try and wash the remaining suds out. Well, a few minutes later, the soap is flowing through the kitchen again. At this point, I could tell William was frustrated and I was so embarrassed I told him to get out of the kitchen and that I would handle cleaning it up. It took two more rounds of shoveling out suds with a big plastic cup and soap running into the kitchen before I was finally able to finish the cycle and, subsequently, wash all the pots and pans by hand. I think in the future I’ll probably just run them in the dishwasher with regular detergent and risk losing the non-stick coating. That’s what Pam is for anyway.

Lesson learned: You cannot run anything but dishwasher formulated soap in the dishwasher.

After rehashing that little episode, I think I’ll save my lack of success in gardening for another day. My ego might not be able to handle so much public ridicule at once.