Thoughts on life and marriage from the newly formed Spencer family...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Will You Marry Me?
You might think that the pictures above are from a season finale of “The Bachelor,” but they are in fact some lovely snapshots from the night my amazing husband, William, proposed. Most people who read this blog know the story well, but just in case you missed it, I’ll give you the brief version. It all started with a hidden clue in my office on a Friday morning that began a scavenger hunt sending me in search of a “lost puppy.” Considering I had been begging for a dog for months, and that William loved to surprise me w/ creative mystery dates, this was not a dead giveaway for me. My journey eventually led me to a spa in East Texas near his family’s ranch where I was pampered with four hours of wonderful treatments. My final clue led me to his ranch house where I found a scene that was beyond romantic waiting for me and the perfect man with the perfect ring and the sweetest proposal I’ve ever heard waiting at the end of it all.
Why am I taking this journey down memory lane? Well, as much as I fought it this season, I was sucked into another “Bachelorette” series and watched week after week as slimy wanna be superstars fooled the girl and men like I’ve never met in the real world gushed about a semi-attractive girl and her amazingly perfect feet. In the end, Jillian, the Bachelorette, had three men with rings ready to get down on one knee for her. Fortunately, she didn’t let Bachelor number one make it to the proposal. He got as far as confessing he loved her before she cut him off and told him she was in love with another man.
Bachelor number two really got me. He had been kicked off the show the previous week but loved rejection so much that he came back and proposed as well. His proposal really got me…he said, “I think you are someone I could spend the rest of my life with.” I’m pretty sure that if William had used those words, I would have told him to go think about it and come back when he knew that I was THE person he WANTED to spend the rest of his life with. Not just someone who he thought might work out.
Bachelor number three actually got the “yes” and is now engaged to Jillian. In the “After the Rose” Episode, they actually said they are planning to get married within the next year or so. She’s going to move in with him in Chicago and see how it works for a while and then they’ll go ahead and get married.
So what is my point in all this? I feel like ABC and the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” reality series has really devalued the proposal. Since when does “Will you marry me?” mean, actually let’s keep dating and see if we’re really right for each other and, if at some point we decide we are, we’ll go ahead and get married. I can remember at least 10 proposals that have occurred on the series and only one has resulted in an actual marriage. Most have ended in break-ups and one actually ended in a nationally televised confession from a bachelor that basically said, “Ummm, when I said Melissa, I actually meant Molly…oops, let’s not get married and I’m going to need that ring back.”
When William asked me to marry him, he told me he loved me, I was THE ONE for him, and he was ready to spend the rest of his life as my husband. That’s a marriage proposal. Listen and learn all you future Bachelors and Bachelorettes. If you’re not ready to set a date, DON’T PROPOSE. Thanks